T-GIRLS

NOTE: I've been asked why, after years of shooting physique photos, I would become interested in a subject like male-to-female transsexuals. One reason is that I have ALWAYS been interested in a wide variety of subjects and sub-cultures, and when I used to write and photograph for NEWLOOK Magazine I dealt with everything from nudist colonies to outlaw bikers. It is fairly difficult to find subjects that are both visual and are interesting to write about that haven't already been done to death. That's why I am currently doing portraits of X-rated actresses - who are over-exposed in their professional capacities but rarely looked at as people - and with transsexuals, whose lives and experiences call into question many of our most cherished concepts regarding gender - and who are often very involved with creating a visual identity that will allow them to "pass" for genetic women. The text below are some of the things I have learned about the private world of the transsexual.

"Transsexual" is the technical term for individuals who alter their gender, either from female to male or from male to female. Technically, transsexuals actually undergo physiological changes, such as taking female hormones, getting breast implants or even undergoing an alteration of their gentials. "T-girls" is a more encompassing term, that can include everything from cross-dressers and transvestites to all-out transsexuals.

"Shemales" is another common term for feminized males, but a lot of the T-girls dislike the word. To them, it is a label coined by the porno industry and smacks of a kind of sleaze and kinky erotocism they don't care to associate themselves with. They are not "freaks," these transgendered women will tell you. They are simply women whose male biological physiology simply didn't coincide with their true nature.

The transgendered world is a fascinating one and filled with fascinating people. And their very existence raises a lot of questions. We live in a society that tends to see things in terms of a few, relatively limited categories that don't account for abberations such as T-girls. Our culture tends to assume that there are only two genders: male and female. Sexual preference is allowed three categories: there is gay, straight and homosexual. Well, perhaps bi-sexual too, but most see bisexuals as gays who occasionally have straight sex.

But the more we know of biology and genetics, about the complex nature of the human mind and body, the more those traditional views on gender begin to seem simplistic and naive. Gender, it appears, is not simply biological, more than which sex organ you were born with (in fact some are born with both!).

Transgender itself can take many forms. The cross-dresser is man who feels at least the occasional need to dress up as a woman. He may be gay or may be primarily heterosexual. The woman's clothes he is dressing in may belong to his wife. In most cases, the cross-dresser feels an erotic thrill when he dons women's clothes. It may even become a compulsion. The CD may not absolutely require having sex while wearing feminine attire, but he prefers it.

The travsvestite dresses as a woman more often, sometimes full time, often passing for a woman in social situations. There are transvestites who carry this off so well that heterosexual men often hit on them. There are others who, unfortunately, look more like truck drivers in a dress.

Drag queens are "extreme," very campy transvestites, the most famous of whom at the moment is probably RuPaul. There are also female impersonators who may or may not be gay. There is, in fact, an ancient theatrical tradition of men portraying women. As "Shakespeare In Love" shows us, at one time all female roles in the theater were played by men. Benny Hill played in drag quite a lot. So did Milton Berle. Both Monty Python and Saturday Night Live male cast members frequently dressed as females. Howard Stern has done it. And don't forget Flip Wilson's "Geraldine," whom the devil evidently made dress as a woman.

The next category is the transsexual. A TS has actually made some effort to become a woman physically. They begin by taking female hormones and progress to physical changes like breast implants. Some get silicone injected in various parts of their body (a dangerous practice) to create super-feminine curves and many get facial surgery as well. The final effect can be startling. There are T-girls who work as fashion models on Paris runways and nobody can tell they are "chicks with a dick," or girls with "a little something extra."

These are pre-op shemales. They retain male genitalia. Although T-girls taking a lot of female hormones are rarely "fully functional." That is, they can get erections of a sort, and can orgasm, but can't stay hard enough to actually penetrate a lover. A relatively few T-girls choose to take the final step. They undergo a type of surgery in which the testicles are removed, a "pouch" like structure is created to simulate a vagina and tissue from the penis is folded in and functions as a kind of pseudo-clitoris. Some transsexuals are extremely happy with the results of this surgery and profess to be highly satisfied with the physical sensations they get from their new sex organs. But a large number are not happy and deeply regret taking this step. Some admit that their new vaginas do not give them the same full sensatons they used to have, but they feel so strongly about becoming "the woman I was always meant to be" that they consider the lack of physical stimulation worth it.

It is this very powerful sense of gender identity that motivates transsexuals. The cross-dressers generally don't want to become women. They simply get a sexual kick dressing like one. Transvestites may feel themselves to women in a man's body, or be gay men who are expressing what they feel is their "feminine" side but who don't consider themselves to be truly female. Rather, something outside of either basic gender category. But actual transsexuals do feel themselves to be women and go through all the steps necessary to become fully female both physiologically and legally.

The more you think about the implications of changing gender, the more complicated it gets. For example, take a male who likes other males. He is classified as gay. Then he goes through a process of gender reassignment and becomes a woman---legally a woman. He (now she) still likes men. So a person who started out homosexual, is now heterosexual. Or, if "he" liked women in the beginning, and becomes a transsexual, sexual orientation in this case goes from straight to gay.

In any event, if you ever take a beautiful woman home and before making love she says, "I have a little surprise for you," you'd better be prepared. She might be a T-girl. And if this isn't something you are ready for, you may end up playing "the crying game."

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