ASTROID FALCONI -

FASHIONS FOR THE 22ND CENTURY

Astroid Falconi's Neptune Time Scooter was in need of a tune-up (never enough time for that somehow) so she had a few spare moments to model the latest in couture from the Astroid Belt (the center of 22nd century high culture, don't you know).

"With the total climate control you get living in a dome on a piece of barren rock orbiting the sun," she explained, "clothing in our time is merely decorative. It has no real function, as such. One of my favorite outfits, for example, is one I created out of nothing but masking tape and post-its."

This little number Astroid is wearing is a features simulated-leather and synthenic rubber tubing, a retro piece inspired by the 2008 movie, "Beam Me Up, Braveheart," one of many successful movie sequels that resulted from casting Mel Gibson as the kilted, sword-waving captain of the Starship Haggis in Star Trek versions XII through XX.

"Being able to travel through time is great," Astroid explains. "For example, I was able to go back to the original filming of "Braveheart" and look under Mel's kilt to find out the answer to that question every one is always asking - you know, what he wears under there."

And the answer? "Masking tape and post-its, of course," reveals Astroid. "Where do you think I got my inspiration, silly."